In Others' Words

When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan: Guest Post by Author Susan May Warren

My novel, Catch a Falling Star, asks the question: Is life about accomplishing plans … or wishes coming true … or something more?

Today’s post is the final entry in the “When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan” Wednesday blog series, 11 guest posts by authors and writers, including Deborah Raney, Rachel Hauck, and  Susan May Warren,  who explore the question: What do you do when life doesn’t go according to plan? Today’s post is by my friend & mentor, best-selling author Susan May Warren.

 

 

 

 

It was my husband Andrew’s idea. We were missionaries in Far East Russia, and we’d experienced an endless winter against a pane of cheerless Siberian skies. My four children and I all felt the restlessness that creeps under the skin after a monotonous schedule and needed a change of scenery – something to brighten our landscape as we plodded into March.

Andrew sensed our needs, (the children crying into their corn kasha each morning alerted him) and suggested we accompany him on a weekend trip to see some friends.

“You can stay with Sveta while Vadeem and I work on the summer building project!”  He smiled; my grin quivered. Our friends and their three little children lived in an 8ft by 12ft single-story house. No running water – and … outhouse!

But I donned my adventurer’s cap.  Two nights on the train and one night on their sofa … it could be fun.

The train ride was fun: We brought a picnic, the kids bounced from bunk to bunk, we watched the sun set from their train windows.

At seven the next morning, Vadeem met us and raced us along rutted alleys and flimsy green fences until we pulled into his yard.  A friendly spiral of black smoke curled from the chimney of his brightly lit home. Sveta was boiling fresh palmeni, and she greeted us like long-lost relatives.

When Andrew left, I wondered what Sveta and I could talk about. She was so quiet, I so … well, not quiet … but a bit undone by the language barrier. I sat in the kitchen. The seven children watching Simba’s Pride on the only sofa. I pulled out some sewing and started to chat.

For eight hours I sewed, (in between running the kids to the outhouse and dressing them for outside twice) fumbled with my Russian and watched my friend.

Sveta never sat. She pumped water into a big barrel, her delicate arms bulging. She peeled about 300 potatoes. She swept her entire house, three times. She made a cake. She went out to the coal pile and hauled in a big bucket and then started her enormous coal stove, which heated the house, twice. She fitted a neighbor in a housedress and sewed up the hem. She cleaned fish. She wore a skirt and looked comfortable in it … and then that night, as she sat by her husband, she rubbed his shoulders and let him poke fun at her. And she smiled the entire time.

Not once did I hear her complain, raise her voice to her children or collapse at the table, drop her head into her hands and sigh, “I just can’t go on.” No, she seemed happy, despite the challenges of her living conditions.

After our three-day visit, I imagine that Sveta dissolved into a puddle of exhaustion, cried and served her kids ramen noodles every meal for a week … but I doubt it. Sveta, at 27, had something that most women (or men for that matter) spend a lifetime trying to find: Contentment. Peace with her lot.  Perhaps even fulfillment as she tended the field the Lord had given her.

We returned home on the train, a sauna with the heaters turned on full. I tossed and turned all night, but it was my conscience that kept me awake. How many times did I wish for cold water, or even a backyard for the children to play in? How many times had I melted into gloominess when our schedule overwhelmed us? I think the difference between Sveta’s smile and my frown was attitude and vision. Longing for things I didn’t have – in Russia it was running cold water, boxed convenience food. Today it might be faster Internet access – even a lighter schedule. Regardless, my complaining is a bit like acid, corroding my thankfulness.

“But giving thanks is a sacrifice that truly honors me. If you keep to my path, I will reveal to you the salvation of God.” ( Psalm  50:23 NLT ) Could part of that salvation be contentedness?

I went to Sveta’s to brighten the colorless landscape of my tedious daily schedule. I returned to the same palatte … but with the hue of thanksgiving and a vivid determination to never let complaints paint my world gray. Each day is mine to shade how I want … and it starts with contentment.

When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan: Author Susan May Warren talks about contentment Click to Tweet

Contentment and the “acid” of Complaining Click to Tweet

Susan May Warren is the founder of My Book Therapy, a writing community to help novelists get published. An award-winning, best-selling author, Susie has published over 40 novels. Her most recent book is Take a Chance on Me, which released in March 2013.

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In Others’ Words: Listen

At times I am the worst of listeners.

There’s a Vogt family joke that somebody needs to make me a T-shirt with this statement printed across the back: If you can read this, then I can’t hear you.

My responsibility? To wear this one-of-a-kind T-shirt whenever I’m seated at my desk, writing.  Hhhhmmmm. I’m going to need more than one of these T-shirts.

At times, my family jokes about how I’ll look up from my computer and ask, “Were you talking to me?” But behind the laughter, there is often a hint of hurt … even frustration.

I let it happen again. Pulled by the demand of something else (usually writing), I didn’t listen to my husband. Or one of my daughters. Or my son. And not listening can equal not caring. Or at least caring about something else more than whoever was talking to me.

I tell my family that they are more important than my writing — but do I prove it to them? Not always. I love my kiddos all the time … but sometimes I let other things — like a deadline — interfere with a truth I want to tuck deep into their hearts: I love you. 

The one thing I’ve learned is that listening — really listening so that I hear what someone is saying — requires more than using my ears. I have to use my eyes too. I have to turn away from my desk or shut my laptop and make eye-to-eye contact with the person who is talking to me. It’s a deliberate action that shows them they’ve got my undivided attention because they are important to me.

In Your Words: What keeps your from listening to others? What helps you be a loving listener?

What keeps you from listening to others? Click to Tweet

What helps you be a loving listener? Click to Tweet 

Read the first chapter of Catch a Falling Star by Beth K. Vogt! Click to Tweet

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In Others’ Words: These Days …

We are facing another wildfire here in Colorado Springs: the Black Forest Fire.

The fire erupted on Tuesday and has already become the largest and most destructive fire in Colorado history. As I type this, it is all of 5% contained. 360 homes have been burned — completely destroyed. 15,700 acres destroyed.

We are safe — the fire is northeast of us. After last summer’s Waldo Canyon Fire, I know how quickly circumstances can change. I tell people I am stressed … but I am not worried.

There’s a difference.

Knowing there’s a wildfire ten miles from my home? That’s a stressor. Waking up to the smell of smoke? Stressor. Watching the evacuation area grow bigger each day? Stressor.

But I am not worried. This is no time for “How could a loving God let this happen?” litanies. Nor is it time to doubt God’s care for me — or for anyone. And I made a decision years ago that I would trust God no matter what. After going through a season of doubt, I learned that I’d rather walk through the hard times, the heartbreaks, clinging to God, then to walk them alone and in my own strength.

 God does not change. He alone is enough.

In Your Words: How are you today?

The Black Forest Fire: Finding God is Enough Click to Tweet

 Discovering the Difference Between Stress & Worry Click to Tweet

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When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan: Guest Post by Debut Author Patricia Bradley

My novel, Catch a Falling Star, asks the question: Is life about accomplishing plans … or wishes coming true … or something more?

Today’s post is the tenth in the “When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan” Wednesday blog series, 11 guest posts by authors and writers, including Deborah Raney, Rachel Hauck, and  Susan May Warren, who explore the question: What do you do when life doesn’t go according to plan? Today’s post is by debut author Patricia Bradley.

 

In 1980 I was thirty-five years old and had a dream of getting a book published. I had it all planned. I’d write the book and publishers would bid on it.

Okay you writers out there, quit rolling on the floor. I quickly learned life doesn’t always go according to my plan. Thirty-four years later my first novel will reach the bookstores. Along the way I received enough rejection letters to paper one side of my office, and if I’d sent it out to more people, I could have papered my whole office.

I’ve had people ask me why I kept writing when I kept getting rejected. Sometimes I asked myself the same question. Did I ever think about quitting? Certainly. But something in me wouldn’t let me quit.

In 1998 I laid my writing on God’s altar, willing to pick it up in any form He desired. I claimed Psalm 37:4-5: Delight yourself in the LORD; and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the LORD, Trust also in Him, and He will do it.

And what did He do?  He gave me the privilege of working 8 years in the abstinence program, first co-writing an abstinence curriculum, then taking that curriculum into Mississippi, Tennessee and Alabama schools, teaching children how to make good choices. For 7 of those 8 years, I didn’t have a creative fiction thought to enter my head.

Then one morning in 2007 during my quiet time with God, a character popped into my head. And someone was trying to kill her—my task in the abstinence program was finished.  God had released me to go back to my beloved suspense stories.

And so if He gave me permission, then of course I would soon have a book published. I think sometimes when we read Psalm 37:4-5 we forget to read the 7th verse: Rest in the LORD and wait patiently for Him.

In Jeremiah 29 God tells us He has a plan. Thirty-three years after I started writing, on October 17th my manuscript, Shadows of the Past, was presented to the Revell pub board and won unanimous approval. Ten days later I was offered a 3-book deal from Baker Books, the parent company of Revell.

Life didn’t go exactly as I planned, but it did go as He planned.

My plan = 1 book. God’s plan = 3 books.

God’s plan is always better than ours.

What has God taught you as you waited for your plan — or was it His plan? — to be revealed in your life?

What has God taught you while you were waiting? Click to Tweet

What unexpected opportunity have you found while you waited for your dream to come true? Click to Tweet

Rafflecopter Giveaway for When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan Goodie Basket Click to Tweet

Patricia Bradley’s debut novel, Shadows of the Past, releases February 1, 2014 from Revell. She lives in North Mississippi and is a former abstinence educator and co-author of RISE To Your Dreams, an abstinence curriculum and workbook. But her heart is tuned to murder and suspense. Patricia’s mini-mysteries have been published in Woman’s World, and you can check out her short story in WW, “Blood Kin”. When she’s not writing or speaking, she likes to make jewelry or throw mud on a wheel and create odd and unique pottery.

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When Your Happily-Ever-After Happens Later in Life: Guest Post by Lauri Barnes

My newest contemporary romance novel, Catch a Falling Star, tells the story of a romance between a man and a woman in their thirties — their late thirties, to be exact. The romance is of the “are these two really right for each other?” kind. 

I’ve talked with others about whether there’s an expiration date on romance — I even wrote a blog post on it for RT’s daily blog! I’ve also loved hearing real-life stories of later in life romances. Today, my friend, Lauri Barnes, shares her story! 

 

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When I was growing up, I always imagined that I would marry young.  I was eager to find the love of my life and start a family of my own.  God apparently had different plans!

After I graduated with my bachelor’s degree, I began teaching and working on my first master’s degree, and I had a very small social circle.  I didn’t have much time for dating, and when I did have time, I wasn’t meeting anyone that seemed compatible.

As I passed from my twenties to my thirties, and then when I passed 35, I became discouraged, picturing myself as the prototypical old maid.  I had begun to lose hope that there was “the one” out there, and seriously considered settling for Mr. He Likes Me rather than Mr. Right.

When I told a godly friend how depressing it was to think about growing old alone, she told me that God didn’t call me to be single the rest of my life; He only asked me to be single “today.” One day at a time made the wait a lot easier, and I’m so glad that I waited!­

After I finished my doctorate just before my 37th birthday, my mom made it her mission to find me a husband, and she scouted out Dale on an online Christian dating site.  Both Dale and my dad worked at the same Air Force base, so my parents met him for lunch one day.

When I first heard about this “great Christian guy,” who was 47 and had never been married, I was sure that he would be like all the other awkward blind dates I had been on (why, thank you for taking me to look at tools in the Sears automotive section—how romantic!).

I was pleasantly surprised by Dale when we met at a local Mexican restaurant.  The conversation flowed easily, and I felt so comfortable with him. We met March 7, dated every weekend (we lived in towns an hour apart), and on Memorial Day of that same year, he asked me to marry him.

Our wedding was two months later, and the adventure really began! Trying to combine our two homes into one (for a brief while we had three houses!), renovating our homes so they could be sold, doing all of this while I was pregnant or nursing our two children (who are 17 months apart) … not easy!

Nevertheless, we are so grateful for each other that we would rather go through all of the challenges together than to spend our lives apart. When it is true love, it really doesn’t matter what you are doing, as long as you are doing it together–stripping wallpaper, spackling, repairing ductwork or plumbing, or living with a room full of boxes (even 5 years into the marriage)–it’s all worth it!

If happily-ever-after came true later in your life, what did you learn while you waited? If you’re still waiting … what makes the waiting easier — or more difficult?

What lessons did you learn if  happily ever after happened later in life? Click to Tweet

A true later-in-life love story: Guest post with Lauri Barnes Click to Tweet 

Lauri Barnes taught for 15 years before becoming a work-at-home mother of two adorable preschoolers.  She teaches research writing online and is the coordinator for her local MOPS group.

Posted in Contemporary Romance, Life, Reality, Romance | Tagged , , , , , | 9 Comments

In Others’ Words: Humility

There’s nothing like a good friend — or two — to keep you humble.

The best of friends celebrate your successes when they are nothing more than dreams. These friends cheer you on, assuring you that you can do it, you will do it — whatever “it” is you’re pursuing.

The best of friends tell you it’s okay to cry when a dream crumbles at your feet. They even shed a few tears with you. And offer Kleenex. And a shoulder to sob on. And ice cream. And then they help you gather the bits and pieces of your dream and figure out what’s worth rescuing and what needs to be released.

The best of friends will stick their foot out and trip you so that you fall flat on your face when you think you’re “all that and a pair of Jimmy Choos.” And they’ll laugh — and somehow get you to laugh too, reminding you that hey, you borrowed those high heels from them!

In Your Words: When has a a friend celebrated with you? Cried with you? And when has a friend known it was time to take you down because, well, your view of yourself was a bit  self-inflated?

Humility: Friendship & deflating egos Click to Tweet 

How friends keep us humble Click to Tweet 

Read the first chapter of Catch a Falling Star by Beth K. Vogt! Click to Tweet

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In Others’ Words: Childhood

In Your Words: Was Walt Disney right? Do too many people grow up? Have you retained any of your childhood — your childlikeness — despite the passing of years?  How do you grow up and still stay young?

How do you grow up and still stay young? Click to Tweet

Growing Up: Was Walt Disney Right? Click to Tweet

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Catch a Falling Star FB Party: Still Smiling

Yes, I am still smiling about my “Catch a Falling Star” FB party — and it happened two days ago!

The best part of the party for me? Talking with everyone who joined the celebration. Yes, “talking” meant typing … and refreshing the Facebook page multiple times … and scrolling up and down (and repeat, repeat, repeat) — but it was so, so worth it!

Caitlin with Litfuse Publicity Group manned the helm, which meant she and I were in constant contact via speaker phone. She’d say, “I’m going to load the next round of trivia questions. Can you see them?” And lo and behold, there the trivia questions would be! (How many children do I have?)

My youngest daughter set beside me and watched the whole process and other family members viewed the fun from various laptops in the family room outside my office. Their comments were hysterical. Next time they want a live Facebook party — with their participation too, of course!

Thank you, thank you to everyone who came by and partied with me, celebrating the release of Catch a Falling Star. And thanks to those of you who emailed or IMed or texted and said you wish you were there (hhhhmmm … sounds like a book title, doesn’t it?). 

Here is the list of winners from the celebration:

Congratulations to Sue Wendt! You’ve won a copy of Catch a Falling Star! Email your mailing address to caitlin {at} litfusegroup.com!

Congratulations to Elizabeth Haas Morris! You’ve won a gift certificate to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Starbucks, or iTunes! Email your email address and choice to caitlin {at} litfusegroup.com!

Congratulations to Marie Wells Coutu! You’ve won a copy of Catch a Falling Star! Email your mailing address to caitlin {at} litfusegroup.com!

Congratulations to Jeanne Takenaka! You’ve won a copy of Catch a Falling Star! Email your mailing address to caitlin {at} litfusegroup.com!

Congratulations to Aimee Haywood! You’ve won a gift certificate to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Starbucks, or iTunes! Email your email address and choice to caitlin {at} litfusegroup.com!

Congratulations to Bethany Baldwin! You’ve won a copy of Catch a Falling Star! Email your mailing address to caitlin {at} litfusegroup.com!

Congratulations to Pepper Basham! You’ve won a catch a falling star necklace! Email your mailing address to caitlin {at} litfusegroup.com!

Congratulations to Stephanie Craig! You’ve won a copy of Catch a Falling Star! Email your mailing address to caitlin {at} litfusegroup.com!

Congratulations to Gabrielle Meyer! You’ve won a gift certificate to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Starbucks, or iTunes! Email your email address and choice to caitlin {at} litfusegroup.com!

Congratulations to Tari Thompson Faris! You’ve won a copy of Catch a Falling Star! Email your mailing address to caitlin {at} litfusegroup.com!

Congratulations to Georgia Hatheway Beckman! You’ve won a copy of Catch a Falling Star for posting your photo on Beth’s Facebook wall! Email your mailing address to caitlin {at} litfusegroup.com!

Congratulations to Bernadette DesChamps! You’ve won a gift certificate to Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Starbucks, or iTunes! Email your email address and choice to caitlin {at} litfusegroup.com!

Congratulations to Daphne Woodall! You’ve won a Swarovski shooting star ornament! Email your mailing address to caitlin {at} litfusegroup.com!

Congratulations to Mary Vee! You’ve won a copy of Catch a Falling Star for posting your photo on Beth’s Facebook wall! Email your mailing address to caitlin {at} litfusegroup.com!

TRIVIA WINNER:

Congratulations to Amy Baker! You’ve won a limited edition signed print by artist Cindy Thornton, “Catch a Falling Star”! Email your mailing address to caitlin {at} litfusegroup.com!

$200 VISA CASH CARD WINNER:

Congratulations to Laura Pol from Cameron, North Carolina! You’ve won a $200 Visa cash card and a copy of Catch a Falling Star and Wish You were Here! Email your mailing address to caitlin {at} litfusegroup.com!

Congrats to all the winners—please email your mailing address to caitlin {at} litfusegroup {dot} com

 

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When Life Doesn’t Go According To Plan: Guest Post by Debut Author Carla Laureano

My novel, Catch a Falling Star, asks the question: Is life about accomplishing plans … or wishes coming true … or something more?

Today’s post is the ninth in the “When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan” Wednesday blog series, 11 guest posts by authors and writers, including Deborah Raney, Rachel Hauck, and  Susan May Warren, who explore the question: What do you do when life doesn’t go according to plan? Today’s post is by debut author Carla Laureano.

 

 

 

 

Writing may be a lifelong love, but it certainly wasn’t my first. When I was a little girl, my deepest desire was to be …

A ballerina.

I realize that most girls go through the ballerina phase at some point, but I wasn’t one of those. My All-In-All-the-Time personality developed early. I didn’t just want to twirl around in tutus. I wanted to be a principal dancer with a major New York City ballet company by the age of twenty-two. I gave up Girl Scouts and track and field and every other leisure pursuit that was incompatible with ballet training.

I took every class available at my local studio. At the age of twelve, my mom started driving me the two hours to Los Angeles to train with a legendary ballet mistress, formerly of the Royal Ballet of London. At thirteen, I attended my first summer intensive at Ballet Aspen. At fourteen, my brave parents let me travel further afield for six weeks at the Milwaukee Ballet School.

And then disaster happened. Shortly after returning from Milwaukee, during rehearsals for The Nutcracker, I slipped on a slick patch of floor. I went down with a sickening crunch. My left ankle immediately swelled to the size of a softball. A trip to the doctor the next day confirmed my worst fears: ligaments torn away from the bone. It could be fixed with surgery involving a steel pin, and I could be back to dancing in six weeks. Or I could stay off it and let it heal on its own over the next several months.

Maybe it was burn-out. Or maybe it was God’s quiet nudging that He wanted me to move in a different direction. I chose the second option.

In the months that followed, first gimping around on crutches (which wasn’t all bad—the cute boy on which I had a crush carried my backpack for two weeks!) and then regaining strength, I rediscovered my love of writing. And at the age of sixteen, wrote my first novel.

It was that novel, terrible as it was, that helped earn me a scholarship to college. It was the realization writing was my true love that propelled me to study English. And it may have taken twenty years to get here–via a husband, two kids, a 1200-mile move, and more than one full-time career–but that tiny slick patch of floor is ultimately responsible for the fact I’m living my dream of being a published novelist.

Do I regret that plans didn’t work out the way I’d hoped? Occasionally. I still take ballet classes for fun and for exercise. I go to the ballet whenever I can afford tickets, and I count down every year to “So You Think You Can Dance” on TV. But most of all, I’m grateful for what I learned from ten years of training for a career I never achieved.

Anything worth doing is worth doing wholeheartedly. Dream big. And trust the One whose plans are much clearer and more comprehensive than our own.

What lessons have you learned from the detours in your own life?

What have you learned from the detours in your life? Click to Tweet 

Are you dreaming BIG and having faith in God who understands all things? Click to Tweet 

Rafflecopter Giveaway for When Life Doesn’t Go According to Plan Goodie Basket Click to Tweet

Carla Laureano has held many job titles—professional marketer, small business consultant, and martial arts instructor—but writer is by far her favorite. She currently lives in Denver with her patient husband and two rambunctious sons, who know only that Mom’s work involves lots of coffee and talking to imaginary people. Carla’s debut contemporary romance, Five Days in Skye, releases from David C Cook on June 10th.

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Celebrate: Catch a Falling Star Facebook Party Tonight!

Tonight’s the “Catch a Falling Star” Facebook Party!

I appreciate all the bloggers who have reviewed Catch a Falling Star since it released May 7 — thank you!

Thanks, too, if you’ve read Catch a Falling Star (CAFS) and posted a review online at Amazon/Barnes and Noble/CBD.com. As my friend author Edie Melson says, “Reviews are gold for an author!” If you enjoyed CAFS and haven’t posted a review yet, I’d love for you to take the time to do so.

I look forward to chatting with everyone tonight — and giving away some prizes, including the $200 Visa card. I also found some star-themed gifts and added them to the giveaway, including:

“Catch a Falling Star,” a limited edition print by artist Cindy Thornton. My family knew Cindy’s family when we lived in Florida — imagine my delight when I discovered that this very talented artist had a print whose theme fell in line with my second novel!

 

While I was at the MBT Deep Thinkers Retreat in Destin, FL last February, I ducked into the Swarovski store and found a Shooting Comet ornament, complete with a small star.

Anybody else like to browse Etsy? I love this Catch a Falling Star necklace — and it was the first prize I purchased for the giveaway, long before my final edits were done on the novel.

See y’all tonight!

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