In Others’ Words: Reality (Guest Post by Meagan Williford)
My novel, Catch a Falling Star, asks the question: What do you do when life doesn’t go according to plan? My heroine, Kendall Haynes, greets her 36th birthday wondering “Just what exactly was she celebrating?” Her life is good — successful — but not all her dreams have come true. Specifically, happily ever after has eluded her.
Today’s post is written by Meagan Williford, a reader-become-friend. We’ve chatted back and forth about Catch a Falling Star and the realities of being single, and I invited Meagan to share her perspective with you.
I’m Single. Say What?
I am not nor have I ever been married, engaged, or divorced. I am not currently dating anyone. As a single woman in my late twenties, I have been the recipient of numerous comments about my love life (or lack thereof). Being a somewhat older single, I’ve fielded some interesting comments from well-meaning people who really aren’t trying to make me cringe.
Things You Should Never Say to a Single Person
- “Tell me why you’re single again?”
- “You must be too picky. That’s why you’re not (dating/engaged/married.)”
- “Don’t you think it’s about time you started looking for someone to date?”
- “Maybe I should help you find someone.”
- “You will find love when you least expect it.”
- “Oh, you’re looking so good! You must be engaged.”
- “You are next, right?” (Said at a wedding reception)
- “You are looking too hard. Just wait for love and it will come to you.”
- “Just remember that it’s better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”
Even though these comments are usually not said with the intent of being hurtful, they still are. I am blessed and have awesome people in my life, but I also want to fall in love and get married one day. Sometimes it’s difficult not to take these comments to heart. Is there a reason I’m not married? Maybe I am too picky? Do I care too much? Should I change something about myself?”
Therein lies the danger of these comments: They make me doubt myself.
It’s frustrating to hear people try to rationalize my single status with these surface comments. Just once I would like someone to go beyond the surface and tackle the difficult aspects of relationships. There is no set formula for finding love. Reading relationship books and following steps will not guarantee love. (Actually, if you’re like me, you will just want to throw the self-help book out of the window!) Many times it seems easier for some to find love while others wait – for what feels like forever – to meet someone. And online dating? Despite what the commercials say, it is not successful for everyone.
As a Christian, I believe in the truth of God’s love. I believe God has a plan for my life. (Jeremiah 29:11) I believe that He loves me, and He is in control. (Romans 8:28)
No, I don’t know why I’m not married yet. And on most days, it’s okay that I don’t understand. Maybe being single isn’t something that needs to be rationalized. By accepting this as my season in life, I’m able to learn and grow, embracing the truths that God is teaching me right now, where I am and who I am: a single woman in my late twenties.
In Your Words: What would you add to Meagan’s list of “Things You Should Never Say to a Single Person”? How did life not go according to plan on your way to happily-ever-after?
Meagan Williford, age 27, is an avowed bookworm who loves Christian fiction. Dee Henderson and Janette Oke were two of the first Christian authors that she read, and she’s been hooked ever since! Meagan enjoys traveling, and the top places on her to-visit list are: Alaska, Hawaii, Oregon, Wyoming, Germany, Australia, Greece, and Italy.
Things You Should Never Say to a Single Person Click to Tweet
Let’s Not Be “Rational” About Being Single Click to Tweet
Singleness: Doubting Myself or Trusting God? Click to Tweet
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