In Others’ Words: Advise Me, Advise Me Not

Advise Me, Advise Me Not

It’s easier to give advice than it is to take advice, isn’t it? And then again, whether we take advice at all is often dependent on who is offering us their wisdom, right?

Remember that T.V. ad that said, “When E.F. Hutton talks, people listen?” As I recall, a room filled with people would fall silent and everyone would lean in to hear the financial advice of good ol’ E.F.

The question today is: Who’s your E.F?

The people we can trust the most are the people we are in true relationship with. It starts with knowing someone’s values, knowing their heart. And then, if I also know this person cares about me, I mean, truly cares about me in a way such that this person has invested time into our relationship … if I’ve been heard … if I’ve been validated … well, that person becomes my “E.F.”. If they talk, I listen. And yes, I will often write down their advice because that’s just the way I am. Sometimes I quote my “E.F.s” — one of them is my good friend, Wise Guy, who I’ve quoted on this blog before. I’ve even woven him into some of my novels. The man knows truth.

In Your Words: I’ll ask the question again — Who is your E.F.? Who do you know loves you such that you are willing to heed their advice, maybe even write it down? And if you’d like to share some of that good advice, please do!

[Tweet “In Others’ Words: Advise Me, Advise Me Not #InOthersWords #lifequotes #advice”] [Tweet “”Write down the advice of someone who loves you, though you don’t like it at the time.” #Englishsaying #quotes #relationship”]

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9 Comments

  1. August 2, 2016, 7:21 am   /  Reply

    I taught mostly new writers a week ago in Canada and while encouraging them to get a writing partner and critique together, I spoke about tremendous writing friends the Lord has unexpectedly blessed me with through the door opened by writing. I heard myself say, “I can listen to any suggestions or criticisms these friends have because they love me and I am safe in their hands.” That’s a priceless statement and truth.

    • August 2, 2016, 1:40 pm   /  Reply

      So true, Dee. We can hear others when we know we are loved and safe.

  2. August 2, 2016, 8:25 am   /  Reply

    I have several EFs in my life, most of them cautioning me to not take on so much. 🙂 And I do consider their words and occasionally heed them, but we only get one life and I want to live it to the fullest. 🙂

    • August 2, 2016, 1:41 pm   /  Reply

      It sounds as if your E.F.s are protective of you, Pat, because they care about you. And yes, I understand the whole, “You only live once” mantra. 🙂

  3. August 2, 2016, 8:46 am   /  Reply

    Interesting question, and I had to think about this.

    I don’t really ask much advice, and not much is offered…the issues on which I really need advice aren’t grist for conversation, for one thing, and my life-paradigms are pretty incongruent with most of the world.

    Pretty futile wishing it were otherwise, but there are times I would rather not keep strictly to my own counsel on those things that trouble me most.

    • August 2, 2016, 1:43 pm   /  Reply

      Andrew:
      I always welcome you into our conversations because I know you bring a different perspective than most — a valued perspective.
      I know that via your blog you are an E.F. to many. You have created relationship and your words are trusted.

  4. Gail Hollingsworth
    August 2, 2016, 9:39 am   /  Reply

    Sometimes advice can be taken as criticism. I guess it’s all in who’s delivering it and how they are delivering it.

    • August 2, 2016, 1:44 pm   /  Reply

      Gail:
      Yes, sometimes words are criticism. The question is: Is it constructive criticism, said with loving intent, or is it hurtful — meant to tear down?

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