In Others’ Words: Bite Your Tongue

Beth VogtIn Others' Words, Life 26 Comments

I wanted to let someone have it last night.

And I know that person wanted to say a few … um … special words to me too.

But I didn’t.

I could feel the words banging on the back of my clenched teeth. I could almost see them forming in a cloud above my head.

But I knew once I said those oh-so-perfect-for-the-moment words, I wouldn’t be able to take them back.

Been there.

Said that.

And regretted it for years.

Yes, years.

This time, I kept my mouth shut. Swallowed my words. Let the moment pass. As I’ve gotten older, I’ve learned a few things … and one of them is that silence is often the wiser choice.

 

Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam;

so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out. (Proverbs 17:14 NIV)

 

In Your Words: What do you do when the wrong words are on the tip of your tongue?

 

 

Comments 26

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  1. Words have the power to hurt and to heal. I decided to keep my tongue between my teeth when I’m emotional because you can never take those words back. Sometimes that drives my husband insane but it helps me not have as much regret later.

    Thanks for keeping it real Beth!

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    Agreed, Alena.
    I’ve had to tell other people that sometimes it’s best for me to walk away then continue a “conversation.” That way I don’t say something I’ll regret later.

  3. I’d LIKE to be all Proverbs 31 woman and say this has never happened to me.
    But, bold face lying is a sin.

    I have struggled, at times mightily, to sail my ship on a proper course, but every once in a while, a black gale comes along and I end up three sheets to the wind. Which, translated, means I try to mind my words, but under duress, I lose control and my words go flying.
    I know full well that I have a decent command of English, but I have learned that sometimes command is nothing unless given with respect.

    It is easier to be self deprecating, somewhat droll and dry, harmless to others and silly than it is to mend hurts that one brings on at the expense of a friend for the entertainment of snobs who don’t care about me anyway.

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  4. I bite the tip of my tongue, too. When I first started doing that I went to bed with a throbbing tongue every night, but it’s helped a lot. My temper has gotten a lot longer. When my kids were teens, the mantra was, “Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.”

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  5. Yep, biting ’til it’s blue sometimes! Sometimes I make the mistake of thinking that those close to me can bear the brunt when I say exactly what’s on my mind. But more often than not, that’s a bad idea unless they specifically ask for my opinion. It’s a hard lesson to learn, but hurt looking back at me from the eyes of someone I love serves as a good classroom.

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  6. I bite my tongue. There are times my tongue has sores on it because I’m biting it a lot. I’m learning to take a step back from the emotion and shush up until I have a minute to process through what just happened. My honey and I find that, when we’re in an argument, we sometimes need a little time apart to sort through thoughts and feelings. When we come back together to talk “it” out, we can usually verbalize our thoughts in less hurtful ways.

    Silence can indeed be my friend.

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  7. Definitely know the sore-tongue affliction. My problem isn’t so much not responding to someone in anger, but…gasp….gossip. Passing along that little tidbit in the form of a prayer request. God has really been working on me about this…love Wendy’s saying–“Lord, keep your arm around my shoulder and your hand over my mouth.”

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  8. I’ve said too much too many times and immediately regretted it. Gotta give my lips a workout more often, clamping them together when I’m tempted to talk and it’s not the right time. Silence is a great alternative. And prayer. Lotsa prayer.

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  9. Oh how I love this, Beth. I recently worked with someone for 10 hours straight who was very difficult to deal with … can’t begin to tell you the things I wanted to say, but didn’t. And she wants to do it again and on a regular basis. I don’t think so, but I’m glad I kept my mouth shut.

    Sort of funny thing happened after the fact, I ended up with fever blisters, then read somewhere they’re the physical sign for “festering angry words.” Well, yeah. But blisters heal in a week or so … angry words, not so much.

    Thanks for sharing wisdom, always.

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  10. Thank you for sharing your wisdom so consistently! I learn from you on a regular basis. I’m blessed to have you as a mom!

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