Sometimes in life, we want guarantees.
If we invest in a friendship, we hope that friendship lasts.
If we say to someone else, “Yes, I believe in you,” then we hope the other person will have our back, too — and stand by us, through thick and through thin.
If we trust someone — with our hearts, with our dreams, with parts of our lives that others don’t see — than above all else, we want that person to be trustworthy. We expect that what they promised us — loyalty, maybe? Or faithfulness? — will be fulfilled in their words and actions toward us. We hope they’ve been honest with us. That they aren’t one person to our face — and someone else entirely when our back is turned.
But, as Hemingway points out, the only way to find out if someone is trustworthy is to choose to trust them … and then see what happens.
Some people we trust will fail us. Then the choice becomes: do we trust no one … or do we risk and choose to trust again?
In Your Words: How do you decide to choose trust someone or to not trust someone?
[ctt template=”8″ link=”k47e6″ via=”yes” ]In Others\’ Words: No Guarantees http://wp.me/p63waO-2ka #InOthersWords #quotes #choosingtotrust[/ctt] [ctt template=”8″ link=”_6OY9″ via=”yes” ]\”The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.\” http://wp.me/p63waO-2ka #quotes #ErnestHemingway #trust[/ctt]
Comments 7
Just trust ’em.
Fool me once, shame on thee,
fool me twice, shame on me.
(It does help to have a reputation for a quick temper and no qualms about loosing it.)
Author
“Just trust ’em.”
So you believe we should give everyone at least one chance, eh Andrew?
Yes, I do; there are obvious exceptions (such as when a person’s qualifications and competence are clearly not up to a task) but on the whole it’s the mark of a gentleman to offer initial trust.
I’ve been disappointed, yes, but on the whole I believe that the single drop of trust, freely given, raised the level of civilization in the world, just a little bit.
In my opinion it’s always better to trust and occasionally (rarely) find its misplaced than to hang back, just like years ago looking at the choices of being an optomist or pessimest, I went bit time for the former and enjoy my view of life much more looking through those glasses.
Author
I would agree optimism is preferable over pessimism, Dee.
I spent years holding back trust. Rejection does that to a girl. I wanted guarantees before I stepped out and did ANYTHING. But, God has placed amazing people on my path who have trusted me, and been trustworthy. As for my dreams, I’ve discovered some people can embrace me through them, and others can’t. So, I don’t talk about my dreams with those people. It does seem that Hemingway has it right. We won’t really know if someone is trustworthy unless we trust them and see what they do with it.
Thought-provoking post, my friend.
Author
I do think our wounds can determine our ability to trust — and healing can make all the difference.