In Others’ Words: The Value of Befriending Yourself

Friendship with oneself 2016

How good a friend are you — with yourself?

If someone had asked me that question years ago, I’d have to confess to being a fair weather friend to myself. I hung around me when things were going well — when I could stamp “approved” on my forehead or slap a gold star on my efforts. But when the going got tough and I didn’t handle things well? I was as good as gone.

And when I did hang around myself? Well, I didn’t treat myself very nicely. My self-talk was usually something like “Oh. My. Word. Just don’t embarrass yourself. Try harder. You should have won — but I’m not surprised you didn’t.”

Blah blah blah …

I would never talk to anyone else like that … but oh, the things I said to myself.

It’s only as I got older — and learned from others’ wiser than myself — that I became my own friend. I discovered I liked me. I was worth my time, worth getting to know. Worth investing in.

One of the things I do just because I enjoy it is walk along the beach whenever I can. It’s relaxing … a time when I savor being both alone and when I feel closest to God. I make no apologies for my walks along the beach. You see, I know myself well — I’m my own friend — and I realize those walks restore my soul.

So do times of silence.

So do the walks I take with my friend Mary.

So does laughter with my girlfriends.

So does spending time with other writers — because they “get” me. They are my people.

In Your Words: How friendly are you with yourself? What have you learned about yourself as you “befriended” yourself?

[Tweet “In Others’ Words: The Value of Befriending Yourself #InOthersWords #friendship #Identity”] [Tweet “”Friendship with oneself is all important, because without it one cannot be friends with anyone else in the world.” #EleanorRoosevelt #quotes”]


Next Tuesday, January 12, my friend writer Karen Schravemade, who blogs over at A House Full of Sunshine, will be dropping by as a guest blogger — and I’ll be having a fun giveaway! See you next week!




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  1. January 7, 2016, 12:16 am   /  Reply

    Excellent and vital post, Beth. Being a friend to oneself is so very, very important, because it is the only way that the hands and heart of Christ can become mobilized. Afterall, Jesus said “love your neighbour AS yourself.”

    Too late for me, but that’s life.

    • January 7, 2016, 7:57 am   /  Reply

      Andrew: Thanks for anchoring this post to the Truth.
      And it’s never too late … you teach me every day how to be an honest friend to myself. A loyal friend.

  2. January 7, 2016, 6:13 am   /  Reply

    Wow, you outdo yourself sometimes in hitting the nail on the head–another profound post. Sometimes we go through seasons becoming the “hammered gold” that formed only 2 things in God’s tabernacle and temple–the ark of the covenant and the 7-branched candlestick–both received carefully-directed hammer blows to take on the design God intended. The process may not have been fun but the outcome was essential and eternal. The afterward is so worth the shaping process.

    • January 7, 2016, 7:58 am   /  Reply

      It’s true, Dee. God uses everything to shape us and form us … and we need to understand the process and value who He creates us to be.

  3. January 7, 2016, 7:49 am   /  Reply

    Well, I guess I’ve always been my best friend, my own cheerleader. When I fail or make a horrible mistake, I bounce back. I don’t know why. I guess it’s just the way God made me. But I know a lot of people who are sadly their worst enemy. Great post!

    • January 7, 2016, 7:59 am   /  Reply

      Perhaps one of your innate characteristics is resiliency.My daughter, CJ, has it too. And it makes a tremendous difference in her life and her ability to overcome setbacks, as well as her ability to like herself, no matter what.

  4. January 7, 2016, 10:41 am   /  Reply

    Oh, yes, Beth. I’m resilient, if nothing else. lol

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