In Others’ Words: Forward Motion

“I am not discouraged because every wrong attempt discarded is a step forward.” ~ Thomas Edison, American inventor

Things didn’t go as planned yesterday. (Well, actually today. But when you read this post, it will be yesterday. Sorry. Digressing.)

I put a lot of time and effort — and also utilized someone else’s time and effort — into something. And all that combined time and effort produced a “No, thank you.”

It was a pleasant “No, thank you” — a we-hope-to-talk-with-you-again-soon “No, thank you.” But, ultimately, it was a no.

Sigh.

I hate nos. Don’t you?

There was a bit of an “ouch” to this no. And part of me wanted to pout. And then I thought: Well, I could pout or I could move on. Pouting doesn’t accomplish much — and it certainly does nothing for my looks! So, I decided to figure out how to move past the “No, thank you” and look for the new direction.

I accepted the no, embraced the “let’s talk again” and surrounded myself with encouraging friends. And when I read Thomas Edison’s quote, I smiled. I like that man’s approach to life — his approach to nos.

 

In Your Words: I’d love to hear what you do when you hear a “No, thank you” and you were hoping for an “Absolutely yes!” Does it knock you off your feet or invite you to step forward?

 

 

 

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20 Comments

  1. November 16, 2011, 6:48 am   /  Reply

    I usually allow a brief time of disappointment, then I pick myself up, brush myself off…and well, you know the drill.

    Here’s to hoping your moving forward will bump you right into a yes!
    ~ Wendy

    • Beth Vogt
      November 16, 2011, 6:59 am   /  Reply

      … and start all over again.
      Yep, I know the drill.
      🙂
      And, yes, I think it’s healthy and right to acknowledge the disappointment rather than stuff it.

  2. November 16, 2011, 7:02 am   /  Reply

    I wallow in self-pity for a couple of hours, then I do the drill, too. I’ve learned rejection is a process, one that will allow me to grow. But it ain’t fun.

    • Beth Vogt
      November 16, 2011, 7:07 am   /  Reply

      Nope, rejection in any form is never fun. A writer friend told me yesterday: You can use this emotion and write a good scene with it! At least it won’t be wasted!

  3. Jeanne
    November 16, 2011, 7:27 am   /  Reply

    Such a good post, Beth. Sometimes, I need to take the time to get my emotions out of the way first. Then I can move forward. In the past, it was easy to wallow in self pity for a while and question if I was ever supposed to be doing what I attempted. It’s taken a long time, but I’m learning to embrace the “No, thank you,” and let it move me forward to become better.

    • Beth Vogt
      November 16, 2011, 7:34 am   /  Reply

      There have been times when I’ve let myself wallow. I usually give myself 24-48 hours, depending on the size of the disappointment. Then I force myself to move on. Talking it out with others and praying it out with God helps.

  4. Katie Beth Huntley
    November 16, 2011, 7:37 am   /  Reply

    I’m SO proud of you mom! I’m sorry about the “No”, but I know you will use it for good. You are a motivation to me to never give up and to always pursue my dreams. Love you!
    KB

  5. November 16, 2011, 8:08 am   /  Reply

    Craziness! I had an hour’s drive to work today versus my usual five minutes (stayed overnight out of town last night) and on the way back I was thinking through some work-related stuff I’ve been annoyed about lately…and some minor “no’s” that bugged me even though in the grand scope of things, they’re not biggies at all. And I was asking myself, when did I become someone who whined (even if only mentally) just because I didn’t get my way? And now, as I’m reading your post, I’m having a compare-contrast moment: Thinking of the way I’ve mentally responded to some of these things lately versus your moving on, looking for new direction, etc. I.e. maturity. I want that.

    Conviction is a good, good thing. 🙂 Thanks for the great post. And also praying for clear new direction for you and hope for an eventual “yes.”

    • Beth Vogt
      November 16, 2011, 8:22 am   /  Reply

      I’m thankful the post was timely for you, Melissa. I know your post over at your blog have encourage me many times! (Melissa’s blog is tremendous! Check out: Tag(g)lines )

  6. November 16, 2011, 9:19 am   /  Reply

    When I get discouraging news, I take time to let the feelings bleed off, and then I move forward once again. Disappointments are inevitable, but I can choose how to respond, and I’m learning to accept them with more grace these days.

    • Beth Vogt
      November 16, 2011, 9:32 am   /  Reply

      Keli,
      That’s what I’m learning: I can choose how I respond. I can c-h-o-o-s-e.
      Yes, there was some bleeding … but I had friends and my wonderful husband gather round with the needed aide.

  7. November 16, 2011, 9:37 am   /  Reply

    I love your perspective on this, Beth. A “no” is a tough pill to swallow, especially if it’s something you worked hard toward that involved others. I agree. Even though there is disappointment and an initial “deflating” when I receive a no, it simply means God has something better/different planned. Getting bent out of shape doesn’t change the no, it only keeps us trapped and not moving forward. Thanks so much for sharing this!

    • Beth Vogt
      November 16, 2011, 10:37 am   /  Reply

      Thanks, Donna.
      One reason for sharing: Not talking about it gives the “no” talons … it hangs on a bit longer. I want the forward motion to keep on rolling … 🙂

  8. Loree Huebner
    November 16, 2011, 9:54 am   /  Reply

    It always stings for a bit, but then I move forward.

  9. Megan DiMaria
    November 16, 2011, 10:20 am   /  Reply

    If it’s a professional rejection, I let myself wallow for about ten minutes (which is probably too long) then shrug and move on. I try not to take (publishing) business personally. If it’s a personal rejection, then it’s something that takes more time to work through.

    • Beth Vogt
      November 16, 2011, 10:38 am   /  Reply

      Both good points, Megan.
      With both kinds of rejection, I have to weigh the source.
      And I can learn from it: I’m always reminded that if I have to give some sort of feedback that can feel like rejection to always include the “here’s what I like or here’s what I appreciate” part too.

  10. November 16, 2011, 11:23 am   /  Reply

    Treat myself to a pedicure or a bowl of ice cream. 😛

    Then, remind myself that the race of life is a marathon, not a sprint. If I get stuck a few times while running–or even have to stop momentarily to pull a pebble out of my shoe–that’s OK, as long as I start up again and finish the race.

    • Beth Vogt
      November 16, 2011, 11:44 am   /  Reply

      Ah, yes, a pedicure! The ultimate pamper–and I have one scheduled this weekend (thanks to a gift certificate!) Just what I need!

  11. Evangeline Denmark
    November 16, 2011, 1:23 pm   /  Reply

    Oh, you know I have BEEN THERE, DONE THAT! I often say I’m a professional failure, meaning I’ve failed so many times I’ve gotten good at. I have my “the world is ending” moments, as you well know. And I’ve quit so many times I can’t count them. But what gets me back on my feet and acting like an adult is not any skill or principle I’ve learned but the supportive friends God put in my life. I guess He knew when He made me with the intestinal fortitude of a pill bug that I’d need people in my life to pick me up when I’ve fallen–or been pushed!–down. Thanks for being one of those people. Now, who is this person who told my Beth “no”?

    • Beth Vogt
      November 16, 2011, 1:49 pm   /  Reply

      Ah, Evangeline, you made me smile. You are one crazy-talented person and I can’t wait to shout to the world, “I knew Evangeline Denmark before the rest of you did!”
      I’m thankful you’re on my side!
      🙂

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